It isn't merely a matter of Justice
by FallenAngelItachi
Summary: This is my three-shot story based on Death Note; disregard the fact it has four chapters, it's for another reason.It follows the plot of the manga/anime only with minor changes, to fit in the OC. The pairing is RaitoXOC. Hope you enjoy!
1. Life is unpredictable

**A/N**: So, here it goes... I'm not from Japan so just bear with me with the locations and stuff, alright? And it might start a little abruptly but it's the only way I see for this not to be too much-if I start things from the beginning it wouldn't be a three-shot but a fully fledged story! xD

Now, here's a fair warning: the story will be _slightly_ altered; not like L not dying or a big change, small stuff here and there; I'd hate to do anything drastic. It's not like me...And this whole story has been severely edited; the plot is the same but many things changed. Enjoy~!

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While in the middle of a class at the To'oh University, the teacher was preaching on about moral principles; the class was modern philosophy and the teacher tried to mix many things that didn't bode all too well with one another, like the latest developments in the academic field and the ones during Middle Ages...

_Boring..._a girl sitting next to Takada Kiyomi -the first friend she'd ever made in university- thought and looked away in displeasure; instead of listening to the professor, she idly started examining her deep brown hair like they were the most interesting thing in the world. _Oh, I have split ends; I should do something about that_...

Her name was Erin Hitero.

But the fairly annoying girl on her right, her other side, was talking to her friend about the latest developments on the most popular matter in Japan nowadays nonstop -Kira of course- and her constant yapping wouldn't let her decide on what to do with her hair, as she kept snapping her out of the train of her thought.

_I doubt she understands half of what she says; why is it that people think they should have an opinion even if their opinion isn't their own? She practically repeats what I heard on the news yesterday...people without a brain infuriate me. I bet she actually thinks Kira is "kind of cool" deep down-tch!_

But even if she was too busy mentally abusing the girl next to her she still had time to catch what a student had said, quite offhandedly. 'Personally, I believe that the biggest crisis of moral principles nowadays is Kira.'

To that most of the students stopped talking to the each other and turned to see who had said that, just as did the girl; it was a man who appeared to be about twenty and had blond -dyed- hair and brown big eyes. She recognised him as one of Takada's acquaintances.

'Really Hirotaro; I think not, as what Kira does is really noble and he is Godsend.' Takada snapped a little testily.

Being her friend, the girl new Takada was a firm supporter of Kira; in truth that was how they met on the first place: they had organized a debate between themselves one day on Kira, solely between students. Takada had then chosen the side that defends him and she had chosen the side that accuses him; as they clashed with their arguments though, both realized what they had in common: they were both smart. And they both were firm believers in justice, even if they disagreed on the form. And they were both shooting glances at irregular times at a beautiful boy with brown hair and eyes, who was watching the debate on Kira interested...

'How can you say that-he kills people for pity's sake!' Hirotaro continued fervently.

She had no idea why but Hirotaro was also a member of that debate and what's more, at the time he was on Takada's side. But then she spoke and convinced him to change...just as Takada did on people from _her_ side, too. In truth, that was when both started thinking higher of each other...

'He only kills criminals!' Takada continued in her absolute way; she couldn't remember a time when someone had offended Kira in Takada's presence and she didn't lash at them to defend him.

But she had started getting annoyed; why was it that people always talked about this goddamn thing as if their opinion would actually stop or allow Kira to continue? What use was it to talk about it like this anyway? He wasn't there to hear them...!

'And criminals are not people? Killing is killing Takada no matter who's the victim.'

'Well, I don't agree.'

'That's your problem.'

That was the last straw; she knew not why her friend was acting like a petulant child but apparently so was Hirotaro and this matter didn't get the proper attention it deserved...! Not to mention she could no longer hear herself think over their voices and the comments that spread out between the people of the room.

'Surely you must both know that your behaviour is rather childish and improper for such a matter...? If you want my opinion we should all stop talking about Kira because this matter goes much deeper than an argument between two students acting as 12-year-olds; either give this matter the respect it truly deserves or stop talking about it every time you're merely "given a chance" because you yourselves don't understand the real importance!' she burst out in the end.

She wouldn't tolerate even **one** more person talking about Kira like they were arguing on what colour they should paint their kitchen! It was childish, counterproductive and stupid. She didn't care whom she offended, she only wanted them to stop talking about it!

...But at the sounds of her words, the two most brilliant students of the school that were always together -Yagami Raito and Ryuuga Hideki- and until then they seemed indifferent to the conversation, now were both peering at her interested.

She didn't notice though; if she had, she'd be blushing and spluttering. After all, that beautiful boy that she and Takada were both furtively looking at during that debate, it was him: Yagami Raito...

=:=:=:=

'Ah, Takada-san...'

It was Raito who called her as both Takada and her where heading to the next class.

'Yes, Raito-kun?'

'I just wanted to ask you if we could meet tonight.' Ah of course; she would always forget but...he and Takada were now dating. The girls had held a small contest on which girl would attract his attention first and sadly Takada won. But that wasn't to say she still didn't like him of course. And she had made it very clear to Takada she would be competing her. 'Aw, hi' he said distractedly turning to the girl from before 'I'm Yagami Raito.'

She blushed at the sudden attention. 'I'm Rin, hello.'

'Wait, you're that girl from class-with professor Hitachi.' She blushed more; he had noticed her? 'I really liked what you said about Kira, you couldn't find me more agreeable!' he said enthusiastically; Rin managed a smile.

'So, did you really believed what u said?' he asked.

The question caught her by surprise. 'If I didn't I wouldn't say it.' she said ingeniously.

'I like a girl that is so frank.' he commented...making Takada upset. Still, she didn't say anything even though he didn't pay any attention to her because she knew Raito was always a social person and he did it out of courtesy.

'Anyway, what is _your_ opinion about Kira? Have you reached a conclusion yet?'

'Well, I can't say that-'

'Raito-kun' a bored and impatient voice called out, cutting in the conversation 'we have to be going-haven't you asked Takada out yet?' Ryuuga said coming from behind him. 'Oh, she has company I see; the bright Miss Hitero.'

That was odd; Rin would swear she had never given him her last name, actually she could swear she had never met him before. How did he know her name?

'Please call me Rin.' she said politely yet suspiciously; after all, it was normal for her to know _his _name, he was a genius who came to the university with flying colours.

'Fine...Rin; Raito hurry up, we really need to be going.'

'Err... Right! This is my phone-number Rin, call me so we can continue this conversation.'

He hurriedly wrote his cell-phone number on a piece of paper and handed it to a blushing Rin, who kept glancing between Takada warily and Raito flattered. She couldn't believe this was actually happening...

'Don't forget, alright?' he said finally as he offered his trademark smile.

'Yes!'

'Raito-kun...Won't we go out tonight after all?' Takada asked irritated, tapping her foot n the ground nervously.

'What? Oh yeah! 8 pm at the usual place?'

'Fine.' she barked.

Rin couldn't blame her for being mad; in fact, if Takada tried to throttle her just as soon as the boys left she still wouldn't blame her. She would be right. But hell, she really, really liked Raito-he was the kind of man she always dreamt of: serious, smart and not at all bad-looking! And those eyes were to die for...

'Wait... So you came here to ask Takada out but instead you ended up forgetting about it because you stroke up a conversation with Rin. Interesting.' said Ryuuga in a very natural way, so natural that made Rin blush even more if possible and she resisted the urge to bury her face in her hands. Instead, she laughed awkwardly.

The way he summarized it made both Takada angrier and Rin even more bashful. 'You're funny Ryuuga!' she said in the end while bidding them goodbye, trying to shake off the heavy atmosphere.

As the girls retreated, and they could still feel the boys' eyes on them, Takada glared at the girl attached on her arm while abusing her in a very silent and discreet way, not to betray her turmoil to the ones watching. After all, she'd never show she's jealous to Raito, she still had her dignity and her friend respected that...so she let her vent on her as much as she liked...

_**A week later...**_

Rin was literally strolling over her cell phone, which was currently lying on her bed, while struggling with herself whether she should call Raito or not. He and Takada had just broken up but. Surely, she still must have had feelings for him so she'd be upset -even if she did say a lot of times she'd be perfectly alright with the two of them dating, Rin knew she was lying- and she didn't want to lose her friend. She was going back and forth calling him for more than three hours.

_I'll call him! It doesn't even mean he likes me-I bet he is just social like that...but it will hurt Takada. But she said it's alright. But she was just being proud. But I really like him, even before I met her...but now I'm her friend. But she dated him even though she knew I liked him! Oh what the hell, I'll call him!_

She made up her final mind and dialled the numbers before it changes again; at least now it was irreversible...wait no! she still had time to shut the phone before he speaks-

She heard his voice. 'Hello?'

_Play it cool_, she thought panicked but said calmly: 'Hello Raito, how are you?'

'Rin-san! Wow. I thought you'd never call! I'm great, how are you?'

He sounded...happy she called. That was definitely a good sign; she mustered up her confidence. 'Fine...So I was wondering if you'd like to pick up where he had left off when we were talking how long ago...?' she asked in a "not-to-important-to-remember" tone, just to play it cool. She didn't want to sound too eager...

'A week!' he said somewhat complainingly but recovered it immediately 'I'd love to. But-I hope you don't mind Ryuzaki coming with me, do you?'

Oh great; so this wasn't a real date. 'Ryuzaki? Who's-?'

'I meant Ryuuga, the guy you met that day!' he hastened to correct himself.

She found it odd he'd use two names for one person but let it be. 'Oh sure! I don't mind at all; he's very likeable.' And that was true from her point of view. 'Where?'

'Um, there is this park in front of the Hotel Ryuuga lives, at the centre of the city what about it?'

'Sounds eccentric, but then again so is he, so why not? When?'

'8 p.m.?'

She laughed 'Must be your favourite hour; OK, I'll be there.'

She could hear his smirk over the telephone. 'Oh? You remember the time I asked Takada to meet with-?'

'Goodbye Raito, see you there!' she finished the phone call all too indelicately, feeling her cheeks flare up immediately. But when she was sure the line was dead, she started jumping up and down thrilled. 'Yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes!'

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At 8p.m. sharp she arrived at the designated place but, to her surprise, the two boys were already there, on the seesaw; they were absently talking between themselves while they were looking everywhere around them. As soon as they saw her though, they stopped whatever they were doing -resulting Ryuuga falling down the said seesaw, hurting his bum in the process-. She stifled a chuckle and approached steadily...

_Thank God I didn't overdress_, she thought relieved, looking the two boys' plain clothing and then comparing it with her own: a pair of blue jeans and a long-sleeved plain black blouse. 'Hello!' she greeted, seeing they were both peering at her before she even reached them.

'Hello Rin-san.'

'Huh!' Ryuuga did.

Silence...

_Oh great! Awkwardness from the first min! _'Well, it's pretty isolated here and it was so dark I hardly found the place! Why did you wanna met here?'

Hopefully that would be an icebreaker before the situation could be a nerve breaker...

'This is where we usually come.' Raito said shrugging but she couldn't help it.

This place was weird and isolated and it made her skin crawl; why were they going to a park during the night? They always crept her out... 'To do what? Contemplate on the Universe?'

'Given I worry about someone and especially Kira finding out my real name in broad-daylight then it's safer and only logical to walk around dark places...' Ryuuga said as naturally as ever...that made her laugh nervously again.

Why was he always so direct and abrupt? It made her awkward. Of course every time she felt awkward she'd laugh... 'Are you always like this around people you don't know?'

His eyes flashed. 'You are Erin Hitero, usually called as Rin Hitori, a straight "A" student, with a scholarship from Yokohama's public High school with a 96% average, parents Aya and Omi Hitero, no siblings and bad financial status, ne?'

First she widened her eyes shocked; then she narrowed them suspicious. Suddenly, she started fearing for her own safety: two people, the one lured her here and the one knowing everything about her. Meeting in a dark isolated place, no one around to hear her scream and all the while, she could feel something wild and threatening from Raito...maybe her "talent" at attracting all the wrong guys surfaced again-she would never forget that guy who almost raped her or that other scumbag who beat up a friend of hers just for being with him... 'H-how did you know all of this-did you look me up Ryuuga?'

'Please call me Ryuzaki. And yes. I always do since I suspect of everyone being Kira.' he continued and she couldn't stop laughing; something about his candidness made her feel very awkward. And why would he mind if someone was Kira-he wasn't L or anything...was he?

OK, she knew her mind ran fast and it was no coincidence she had a 96% average but this one was a too big of an assumption to make. And she had no reason to believe something like that, even if he himself had been categorized as a "genius" in this university even before entering.

'So what's your opinion about Kira?' Raito asked her ultimately, interrupting her musing. He could see she was in deep thought and he would love to know what it was about -she did make a big impression on him that time a week ago- but he couldn't help but want to know her opinion on the matter. Maybe she had changed from that time at the debate, even if -to her credit- she had reasonable arguments.

'Sorry?' the question caught her by surprise; she knew he knew her opinions, he saw him there that time watching like a hawk. No doubt that was what attracted her with him, he was always watchful and mindful and those eyes really _were_ to die for.

'Wasn't the purpose of this meeting you two can continue the conversation you had started then? Well, that was the question you didn't answer.'

Damn that panda-eyed man and his awkward questions. 'Oh! Um, well, I can't say that I don't feel safer now, without all these criminals-actually I can because I never was quite afraid of-OK... Listen: I think we are dealing with a very smart and thorough man who got fed up with the inadequate justice system and law enforcement team so started killing off criminals. His ways are definitely wrong but who can blame him for feeling like that?'

'So what you say is that all of us should follow Kira's example?' Ryuzaki asked, looking for an explanation.

She sweatdropped; that was waaaaaay off the mark. She didn't mean it like that!

'No. What I mean is that the people all around the world who are calling the shots should improve the constitutions of their nations so then people like Kira won't have to act.'

'So you don't disapprove of what Kira does after all.' Raito concluded.

She felt so horribly she couldn't get her point across; no matter what they would understand the other thing. Did they do it on purpose...? 'Of course I don't approve of him killing coz I don't believe that the end justifies the means.' But then she realized! 'Wait... Why do I feel like I'm being interrogated? Are you suspecting me of being Kira and want proof before giving me to the police!'

Both boys exchanged a knowing look before inviting her up to the hotel...

* * *

Since that day, Ryuzaki Raito and Rin, came pretty close: not being able to hold back her laughter every time Ryuzaki quoted or made a grand assumption -out of sheer nervousness that apparently both boys seemed fit to ignore- and not being able to help it but blush every time Raito complimented her for her smarts -even though deep down she always hoped one day those compliments would eventually be directed to her looks. She had no idea what but the two boys had their eye on her for no other reason that they saw her as a good asset in their team: Ryuuga knew she wasn't supporting Kira and Raito knew she liked him. Either he liked her or not, which was still not clear to him, he knew she'd be willing to help him with things she wouldn't understand as long as he played his cards right and if a bright woman like her helped him things would look much better for him...

And even if Rin didn't get a boyfriend she certainly gained two good friends. She comforted herself, saying she would have time for that eventually but she didn't actually mind, she realized in the end; it felt like the timing was wrong, maybe there was something on Raito's mind needing resolving. Her own feelings were true and she knew what she wanted, so she waited...

.

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'Rin-san, can you make me a favour?'

That was definitely an odd request from this man. 'What d'you want, Raito?'

'I'm going away for a while and I need you to take the notes one of my classmates keeps, since you and I are not in all the same classes, sadly. You do take perfect notes after all...'

He even complimented her, this would be big. 'Sure but...why are you leaving? I mean, Ryuzaki left because he's L but why you, too...?'

Raito looked at her genially surprised; she had already deduced this much just by meeting them a couple of times when not even Watari was around? Now he was really impressed. And her casualness made it sound it was easy for her to come to the conclusion and only then did he realize how easy he was impressing people. 'Rin-you know L is Ryuzaki?' when she nodded "yes" he shook his head. No wonder L had said she would prove valuable... 'Since when?'

'Since ever he said he was afraid of Kira might kill him. Since he isn't a criminal figured he has no other reason to fear Kira but that. I mean...he did sound concerned and all.'

He seemed to get nervous.

'I guess I underestimated your intelligence for an inexplicable reason. Anyway, thank you and goodbye Rin!' he tried to leave but she wouldn't let him get away with this!

She ran in front of him and blocked his way out; she beamed at him...and that sort of smile scared him when it came from that woman. But by all means, he should be scared: both him and L missing the exact same time didn't seem like a coincidence... 'Didn't answer me though; you merely avoided my direct-phrased question.'

'Oh well; need to take care of some things with Ryuzaki, so...'

'Things you are not telling me that concern whatever it is that you two always argue about and systematically hide from me since every time you see me approaching you always finish the conversation?'

He swallowed. 'Y-yeah...'

She smirked. 'You underestimated me again Raito. Do that once more and you'll have to buy me drinks.' She winked at him; they both knew how bad he was with alcohol-barely had any in his whole life. So if she made that sort of "promise" it only meant she wanted him drunk.

Raito vaguely thought of the implications and smirked back...

'C'mon-go take care of business.' she said "dismissing" him, patting his shoulder. 'But you will owe me one Tsuki Yagami!' she shouted while watching him disappear; how long would he be gone for anyway? A week? Two weeks tops, she figured.  
How was she to know that for a long time she would neither hear not see him again? After all, she was never good with hunches so she trusted solely her logic for these kind of things...

=:=:=:=

It had been pretty long since Raito had left, almost two months, and she hadn't heard from either of them. She was having a hard time deciding on what to do, but she finally made up her mind: she'd go to Ryuzaki's Hotel room. If her logic was proven wrong and the very convenient constitution of hunches didn't work for her then she might as well go directly to the source. There was no need speculating if it didn't do her any good.

'Hello young lady, how can I help you?' the receptionist asked pleasantly.

'I would like to go up to Ryuzaki Hideki's hotel room.'

'I'm afraid I can't help you with that. Only people authorized in advance can go up there.'

She started getting angry; this woman had seen her going up there so many times! What was the problem? Security was always tight but never as far as she was concerned! 'Then maybe if you call him and tell him Rin is here he'll accept me.'

'But I was strictly ordered not to-'

'Call him and he'll accept me.' She bit out her teeth; she was about to snap.

'But-'

'NOW!'

'Fine!'

She called immediately.

Oh hell, she did snap. And she wanted to remain calm for once...damn it!

'Hello Ryuzaki-san, a girl called Rin wants to come up, should I allow her to pass? Aha. OK, I'll tell her.' She hanged up; Rin waited. 'I'm afraid he said no.'

'See? Now I'll-what? No? What? Why! Ugh-Gimme the bloody-phone.' She snapped and physically grabbed the mouthpiece out of the woman's hands.

The receptionist -quite frightened by now- redialled immediately; Rin was starting to lose her patience and quite frankly it looked like she was also losing it...to the receptionist anyhow.

'Ryuzaki, did you tell her not to allow me up?'

'Yes.'

_There he goes again with his awkward answers_. 'Why?'

That was an even worse thing to say to her. 'It's because I don't want you to understand what we were hiding from you all this time.'

'But that's what I wanna know! Aw-plus I have Raito's notes!'

'Well, in that case fine, come.'

'Not to me-tell her!' she said giving the phone back.

'Yes? Yes... You may go Rin-san.'

Shooting a superior "I won" sort of look to the woman self-satisfied -and still not quite believing how she actually managed to convince L- Erin ran upstairs jubilant! Finally she'd get to see him after such a long time...and surprisingly she had missed the panda-eyes awkwardness inducing detective, too. After getting past the strict security control, she was finally allowed in the room.

'Aw, Ryuzaki, are you alright-? ...Oh. My. God... Why are you wearing a chain-Raito? Why in earth are you chained up to Ryuzaki? What did you do to him?'

His face screwed up. 'Why do you automatically assume I was the one that did something?'

She gave him a very incredulous look; she kept staring. 'Honestly now Raito-look at him. What could he possibly do?' she asked while resisting the urge to tag on his cheeks.

Instead of answering, Raito snorted. 'I did nothing. Ryuzaki is merely being paranoid.'

'As usual.' she added and both smiled knowingly at each other...but Ryuzaki came to intrude in the mood with his apathetic statements.

'I'm not paranoid, just logical.'

'Maybe a bit too logical. I mean-you can't calculate facts with numbers.'

'Or people.' Raito completed.

'Or habits.'

'Or feelings...' Raito said offhandedly, looking at her, purposefully travelling between her eyes and her lips...

She froze; she could only stare back at his beautiful brown eyes. She'd always had a crush on him, but it wasn't because he was "oh so pretty" as many of her classmates would say but because something in his eyes looked so deep and provoking yet warm. Plus he was a genius! She got so caught up in the moment she didn't realize that slowly -but steadily- she started leaning towards Raito...

.

'Just kiss him already to get it over with; he'll either reject you or kiss you back. Chances are 2% for the first and 98% for the second, give or take a few digits...'

She nearly fell forward; what did he just say! Raito chuckled amused; he almost had her where he wanted. But still, that was a very embarrassing thing of L to say. Sure, he knew the girl liked him and yes, he might had also been interested in her, finding her actually worth the time to be around but that didn't mean he should joke like that...

But as Ryuzaki commented and both parties involved blushed a little for many various reasons, at the same time an ear-deafening scream was heard. Then, right in cue, a blond girl came, rushing down to hug Raito.

'What? Why in earth would you say something like that about my Raito-kun Ryuzaki?' she squealed with her high-pitched voice. 'Raito is only mine and he'll kiss me alone!' she finished and hugged his neck possessively... Rin felt her temples burn.

Who was she? And if _she_ was the reason Raito couldn't see her then Erin was sure there was no reason to keep pursuing the self-important, self-centred son of a bitch-

'Misa-san, no offense but I have repeatedly told you that I'm not your boyfriend-'

_Oh?_

'Hush, Raito-kun. I still suspect her of being the second Kira so if you dump her she might kill us-or worse! Stop cooperating.' Ryuzaki interrupted in his usual tone that made her chuckle.

'Why are you laughing? You know if he's right and I am the second Kira...' she said taking a devilish look '...you may die today...'

_Why does she look so familiar_? 'Err, Misa, ne?' _Is she famous_?

'Misa Amane.'

_Wait! That name sounds familiar...Oh right, she is a pop idol_! 'Well, Ryuzaki suspects everyone. It wouldn't surprise me if he suspected me for that.'

'You're too smart to be manipulated by Kira. You have more chance of me suspecting you as the real one...which I don't, as the possibilities are lower than 1.08%.'

Rin looked at L with empty eyes. 'Well-you catch my drift I hope...' she replied in a tone which implied Ryuzaki was beyond all hope and she had just irrefutably proved her point. 'Anyway! So, guys, where are you in the Kira case?' she asked while looking at Raito's laptop screen, incidentally just where he was located himself -with Misa on his arm for no particular reason-.

'Well, we hope we get a break on this new lead.' he answered typing frantically.

'Hum...'

It'd been about an hour that both Raito and Rin were doing nothing but looking stupidly at the screen; being at the end of her wits, she was feeling she would bang her head against the wall only for the off chance an idea may come that way. She didn't know why, but she felt like there was something important about this that they were looking, she felt there was some direct connection to the case but it kept eluding her.

After two hours of patiently looking at that same screen, suddenly an idea occurred...

'...Look at this. The victims of the last month are all linked up to this corporation here, Yotsuba: they are all its enemies.'

Everyone looked at her with new found respect; how come they didn't come across this earlier?

'Way to go, Rin-san...' Raito spoke his true sentiments; he had expected for L to take the bait but obviously he already had realized and he was waiting for the girl to come to the conclusion herself. L always enjoyed testing her after all...

Rin appear thoughtful though. There was something quite foreign about the way this Kira went about things... 'Well this is definitely out of character for him...or her though; he never seemed to follow any certain interest, politics or finances. Why does he do this now...?'

'So you did notice; I knew you were too smart to miss it.' Raito said and smiled at the screen knowing she was looking at him.

But this confused her...OK, so she wasn't as smart as Raito who apparently figured out something she hadn't. 'So what does this mean? He only now reveals his ulterior motive or someone else has his power...?'

'The second one is what _we_ believe. You know if I didn't still suspect you that much I would ask you to join the investigation.' L said, making her smile nervously.

'...Arigato, Ryuzaki.' _Although technically I already am a part of the investigation you know_...she thought a little annoyed yet decided to keep it for herself. Maybe if she said it out loud they would allow her to keep this up. 'Anyway, we should get someone in there to spy on them-I'm sure the Kira must be one of the people in the board...'

'Very good thinking Rin-san!' Raito said again.

'But you are brilliant, too!' Misa said trying to get his attention.

'Wait, a minute...did you say "we", Rin-san? Who's "we"?' Ryuzaki asked.

'All of you and all of...me, Ryuzaki that you never tell your real name to anyone. Whom else did you think?'

'Why didn't you say that from the beginning?' his simple mindedness or more accurately, the way he tried to present himself, made her to want to bite him. 'But don't worry; I've already called someone who will be perfect for his job.'

Still, Raito had something to say in all of this. But, Ryuzaki-how are we gonna do that? We can't just march in there and install cameras!'

'True. But I have people who can do it undetected. You'll see...'

...And they did. He brought a woman named Wendy and a man called Arber to help with the investigation. But still, no one would tell Rin why in earth they were wearing a chain -not that she was clueless and didn't have any sort of suspicion- but she couldn't know for sure. So she figured it was about time to learn from another source...

'So, Misa, can you tell me how long you and Raito have been together?' she asked her innocently and completely out of the blue one day: she was sitting somewhere in the background while Misa was next to Raito, speaking about something Rin didn't really care about. Maybe if she was the one speaking to him, she would but...not now.

Both boys turned to the pair of them interested; _now this might even develop into a catfight_, both thought amused and watched...

'Why do you ask?' she asked suspiciously; she might have been called stupid but she isn't that stupid!

'Oh well-because it's way too silent in here!' she replied faking extremely well a wide, friendly smile.

'Oh, ha-ha, it must be already three months. I can still remember our first and only, sadly, kiss...'

_She can't be that stupid, can she? Now I can see why L thinks she is the second Kira-she took the bait immediately. Besides, the guys have told me she is amongst the Kira-lovers...Wait, so is Takada, should I have mentioned her? But we're still friends-somewhat...ah never mind; let's see if my plan will work...but still, how could he have kissed her? She's only a gorgeous blond-...yeah, and that was a poor defence from my part_, she thought amused and continued as innocently as before.

'Where was it?' she asked making her tone a little more blunt gradually so she wouldn't notice as she went on.

'At his house...' she replied in a dreamy voice.

'At the sunset?'

'No, it was an afternoon, the sun hadn't set yet.'

The boys kept watching you wondered now, not knowing what she was planning; this didn't seem like a catfight anymore so they became suspicious.

'I bet it was a very nice experience for you, ne?'

'Aw... Magical...'

'And I bet you love him, ne?'

'With all my heart of course!'

'So you trust him?'

'Of course!' she replied scandalized.

_Goes according to plan..._

The boys kept looking at the pair of them wondered, not paying attention to the pc screen anymore but they were now on pins and needles. Where was this leading them?

'And he trusts you, too, ne?'

'Of course!' she continued at the same tone.

'And he tells you everything because he trusts you, ne?'

'Yes!'

'I don't believe you.'

Misa widened her eyes in shock-or hurt, Rin couldn't quite tell. Her blunt way of dismissing her and her arguments made Misa almost crazy! She was his most trusted ally, more trusted that her! Rin didn't know he was Kira, Rin didn't know of all the plans they made together or how that kiss felt...

'_**What**_-_**why**_-!'

'Because.'

'But it IS true-'

'Well I don't believe you.'

'But it is-' she replied almost crying.

Rin smirked; with a bit of help from the boys -in other words if they didn't butt in-and she'd get what she wanted. 'Prove it.'

'How-'

'Tell me why he's wearing the chain!'

'Ha! Piece of cake-because L suspects him of being the real Kira and Raito is doing all in his power to prove him wrong!' she exclaimed in triumph...but both boys hit their foreheads at the same time.

'I knew it!' Rin exclaimed at the same tone, balling her fist triumphantly.

But Raito began thundering Misa, furious: 'Misa-NO! Didn't I tell you that she MUSTN'T know about-WHAT? What do you mean you knew it?' Raito asked in the end, wheeling around to face Rin, evidently quite calmer.

'You underestimated my intelligence for the last time Yagami Tsuki...! You're buying the drinks tonight.' she snapped amused as she winked at him.

L agreed to the notion. 'Good. I hate to always pay the bill. It may be _my _hotel room, but this is just way too cheap from you Raito-kun; you never to offer to pay anything.' he said and she laughed.

Raito though seemed to get angry...For the next ten minutes in fact he did nothing but sulk. He did it so obviously that everyone actually started noticing...

'What?' she finally asked; he really was mad.

'Well-she shouldn't have told you.'

'Raito, relax! It ain't like I'd believe the most paranoid living person in the planet!' she told him, trying to make him think less of the situation; she knew if Raito thought of something once then he would turn it in his head until he exhausted all thoughts about it, alternatives and how it could have been avoided. So she tried to make hi stop thinking.

But he rolled his eyes still mad.

'What's the problem anyway? Your own father knows it, why does it hurt I know it, too?'

He still wouldn't answer; Rin was distantly reminded of herself in a photo where she was but five years old and she was sulking to her parents behind the camera for a reason she couldn't quite remember...

'OK, think of it this way...' she said going to him 'I am way too smart for her not to have fallen in my trap.'

He eventually smiled...

_**After a while...**_

'You'll be trapping Higuchi with Matsuda? Brilliant!' she exclaimed; she'd just gone upstairs and they just announced it to her as soon as they lay eyes upon her.

Of course, till then, things were going much smoother between Rin and Misa, it was a secret pact that no one dared talk about in fear it might nullify itself if anyone dared mention it; they figured it had something to do with both girls' over-inflicted ego.

'Brilliant? I wouldn't call it brilliant Rin-san; I'd call it stressful-**dangerous**...'

'I guess it kinda is for you that you'll be risking your life and might die to catch him-

Matsuda widened his eyes shocked

-but it was your fault anyway that you went all eavesdropping on them without telling anyone-

Matsuda became highly uncomfortable by now

-but it would be rather chivalrous and brave to risk your life to do this for us-and don't forget! You'll be right behind you to support and help you to whatever you need!' she said sweetly to him in the end and he started blushing.

'Rea-really?'

'Of course!' Misa continued, falling right in cue and Rin nodded, too fluttering her eyes while smiling, trying to look unbelievably adorable. She only hoped she could get it right, this was the first time she was doing it.

'Well then-I-um... I'll do it.' he stated decisively in the end and looked up; Raito started laughing.

'Aw Matsi...! You're so brave!' Misa exclaimed as she wrapped her hands around her excited.

'Great job Rin-san, Misa-san.' L said and she chuckled along with Raito.

'Why thank you, Ryuzaki.'

'I knew the combined forces of Misa and Rin would work-I told you we should've brought her earlier!' Raito commented.

L ignored him in a very direct way and went on as he had wanted 'So, this is the plan...'

Plan in action:

'Matsuda-you'll be fine; relax! I bet he didn't manage to find out your name after all.' Rin said while rubbing his forearms; he was too anxious and too fidgety. Apart from the plan going downhill, she also feared so would his nerves. And they couldn't have that, not when he was risking his life to catch this new Kira.

'You bet, but do you know?' he said worried.

'Don't worry. You'll be alright-I promise.' she continued and gave him a kiss to the cheek to cheer him up...and torture Raito a bit; after all, he had Misa. He could be as kissed as he liked and Rin couldn't really say anything about it, compliments of L who should also be tortured on why on another -she made the mental not-.

But it worked because Raito gave him an envious look. 'Well Matsuda, you shouldn't worry about him founding out your true name and consider yourself lucky after all because out of all the people in this room Rin's never even hugged anyone, how much more kiss them...' he commented bitterly.

Noticing that, and wanting to torture him a little bit more -furious he was still dating Misa- she placed both of her hands around Matsuda's shoulders, staying behind him. She hated herself for being so low but she had once by accident advised Misa and she said jealousy was the best way to go...and she did have him, didn't she? Maybe she actually knew what she was talking about.

'Oh c'mon Raito! You say that that you have Misa as a girlfriend?' Matsuda protested.

'Not to mention he is about to do something very important and he has to relax? Well, now we have to be going, so stand up Matsuda. It's about time we left for the TV station.'

'"We"?' asked altogether.

'Well yes. I'll come with you guys.'

'What? No way!' Raito stated standing up and crossing his hands in front of his chest -drawing Ryuzaki's hand with him.

'I'm afraid it isn't up to you to decide.' She stared getting annoyed right about now; she wasn't a child that had to be taken care of.

'Ah! Father! Say something!'

'Raito, it isn't in my power to stop her...but she won't listen to me anyway. I've already asked her to stay behind.'

Raito wasn't pleased form the turn of events. 'And whose power is it then? Rin-san you mustn't go; it's way too dangerous for a young untrained woman such as yourself-'

'I told her to go. Might help us later by noticing stuff someone else wouldn't.' L interrupted, still sitting in his odd position, with one hand raised.

'RYUZAKI! How could you?'

L ignored his theatrics once more; he nodded Rin away 'Just go.' he dismissed her.

Before she went though, she ran to Raito and after hesitating once -alright, maybe twice- she kissed him fleetingly on the cheek; he turned a bright red...but before he got a chance to say anything they all heard a screech in the lines of:

'Leave my Raito-kun alone you home-wrecker!'

so she hurried to kiss Ryuzaki-she'd do it anyway but now she had all the more reason to hurry.

'Will you relax you psychopath? It's not like I'm gonna steal him from you.'

As she left, she could listen Raito flaming Ryuzaki...and she could swear she heard some punches and kicks connecting with flesh. Ouch.

'My son is right Rin-san. You should've stayed back.' Soichiro noted while they were all waiting at the TV station for Higuchi to appear.

Two hours had almost passed.

'Oh come on mister Yagami! She'll be fine with me.' Wendy commented indignant; why everyone thought so little of women in action in this country she would never understand, really.

'Well I definitely feel better she's here... How long till he comes?'

'Don't worry Matsuda, he'll be here in less than five min or else he's gonna be exposed to everyone-well that's what he thinks anyway.' she said calmly but secretly, she was counting the very seconds; he shouldn't be long enough...or else.

...But then Higuchi barged into the TV station, trying to attack to "Matsuda" -in other words, the dummy they had set up in advance- in an effort to "shut" his mouth.

Rin smirked. 'Everything goes according to plan!'

But when Higuchi saw the doll he went berserk: he started ranting and shouting in a delirium pointing the gun at everyone; people were running around panicked and scared -Rin couldn't blame them for she felt a lot of those, too no matter how she tried to hide it- but then:

BANG! A stray shot was fired at Wendy but Raito's father protected her, getting shot on the shoulder instead of the young woman.

'Mister Yagami! Are you alright? How are you feeling?'

'I'm fine...Just go and tell Ryuzaki-'

'With all due respect sir but Ryuzaki has the whole place wired. I'm sure they already are on the move.' Rin cut him off trying to dress his wound worried. Honestly, what was it with these men? Why were they all trying to be not just heroes but unnecessarily protective of the rest of the women present?

But he stopped her hand.

'No. Go, you must leave. Go and find shelter, don't stay here.'

'But sir-'

'Go. I'll take care of him.' Wendy said strictly. Rin nodded in agreement; there wasn't much she could do here anymore anyway. She should go after that son of a bitch that dared fire a shot towards them...

'Good. Good luck Rin-san and be careful. Now go find shelter.' mister Yagami said... but instead she ran after Higuchi! 'Not that way! Ugh...' he sat back again, feeling the pain ran through his body. 'Crazy girl!' he said, shaking his head.

Rin finally caught up with him in the parking lot, just before he entered his car; being always a good runner -and jumping staircases whole at a time, making herself sprain an ankle in the process or so she felt- she finally managed to get to him. She only hoped the rest were nearly as painful...

'Hey you! Wait!' she shouted in a final effort to stall him.

He didn't have any consciousness of his actions anymore though, he was moving in autopilot so he carelessly shot at her.

'Ah!' she breathed surprised and dived to avoid it; but she was too slow: it penetrated her shoulder. '**Gyah**!' she screamed, clutching her bleeding arm. 'Bloody-git! Stupid bastard!' she shouted again after cupping her wound tighter.

As he shot again, without aiming or even looking, he missed her. Still, it was enough to scare her and stop her from going physically after him. She cursed herself for admitting her defeat so shamelessly she ran to a police car which was ready to leave and got inside. The driver turned to her more than surprised but when he was about to talk she snubbed him:

'Just RUN!' and he stepped on it.

They had Higuchi cornered both by air and land: the police cars were everywhere around him, trapping him while Watari was aiming at him with a sniper up from a chopper with Raito and Ryuzaki in it. He had tried to kill Rin by writing some names down but he didn't manage to; thankfully he hadn't seen her name -after all he wasn't really looking at her- so she lived to see another day. Of course, this seemed odd to her: was there really something that could kill a person by writing their name into it? It definitely seemed so...

But then, they gave her a piece of paper and she saw...

'A sh-sh-shinigami?' she muttered shocked. 'Can it be real?'

But then, Higuchi started making weird sounds like he was drowning: eventually he fell down dead. Getting over the shock of the shinigami fast, she stated:

'Seems like the real Kira just got back in business.'

After what happened Rin was immediately sent to the hospital by Soichiro and wasn't allowed to leave until after two days. Of course all the while Raito was giving her information on the side, telling her about the case and the details. But just for once, Rin was feeling bad. Not just because she couldn't be there and see all these things happening first hand, but because for the first time in her life...she was having a gut-feeling. And it was an unpleasant one.

She had no idea why but ever since Raito told her about the thirteen days rule she felt uneasy. Was that something like a sign? Maybe she was just over thinking things...after all, hunches and the sort never did her any favours of presenting themselves or being accurate before.

When she went back to the headquarters though, she found L saying that the 13-days rule may be a fake and that he'll try it out himself...and then that was when she knew it. That was what felt wrong and dangerous! That's what scared her! What if he did die...?

'You watch yourself there L. You might even die for saying that-how much more doing it!' she said seriously.

'Don't be absurd Rin-san. The only thing that can happen to me is to die after 13 days.'

'**Ryuzaki**-...! Don't say that! I have a bad feeling for today...' she admitted, looking away from him. That was the first time she ever did something like that but she couldn't take it. This foreboding was far too powerful...

Suddenly, all the monitors started shutting down or presenting reports of files.

'What's-why is this happening?' Rin asked shocked while seeing every single file on the Kira case being deleted.

She could swear for the next ten seconds she was seeing everything in slow motion:

'I have ordered Watari if something unexpected happened to him then he should delete all the files we have on the Kira case.' L said as he slowly looked up; it felt like he was expecting something, or someone...

'Oh my God... Where's Rem?' Matsuda asks-but he didn't manage to finish; L started falling off his chair.

Everything happened too fast but so slow: Raito ran to hold L before he hits the ground; holding him in his arms, everyone went in a state of shock while she approached in what felt like super human speed; maybe it had to do with the fact of how everything seemed to be going so slow, it was painful.

'R-Ryuzaki...'

'Rin-san...' Raito said shocked yet caringly and caressed her hair gently.

But she couldn't look up; she just stayed there, lying over Ryuzaki as she pried him out of Raito's hands three seconds ago; crying for his unfair loss with Raito looking at her with the utmost grief and affection...

And just for once her hunch was right: L, Ryuzaki, Ryuuga Hideki, the greatest detective of all time...was dead.

=:=:=:=

A week later, she found herself at the airport surrounded by Matsuda and Raito. 'Rin-san, are you sure you want to leave?' Raito asked you.

'Yes.' she stated.

'Why Rin-san? You could be great help to our team!' Matsuda complained.

She forced a smile.

'With Raito here as the new "L" I'm definite you won't need me Matsuda.'

'Yes, but-... are you sure you want to go to America? After you finish your studies, what are you gonna do?' Raito asked but she shrugged.

She'd decided to continue her studies as a psychologist to America, away from the team, away from Kira and away from L's death...she had never realized just how much of a shock his loss would ever be to her until it happened. She had never realized how much she loved him and had gotten used to him until she lost him. She always thought of the panda-eyes man as a friend but also like an older brother: the kind of older brother who embarrasses you in front of the guy you like because even if you haven't told him, he knows his little sister and he can tell.

Like all, she never realized how much he meant to her until he was no longer there...

'I'll work I s'pose! Goodbye guys; give my best to your father Raito.' she simply said, feigning momentarily good spirits; of course he saw through that, but he allowed her to leave with a final illusion: that he believed she was to start new without putting too much thought into this.

Still, it pained him to see her go; he figured she would stay and help them with this and by doing so he could either coax her into thinking better of Kira or merely get to date her after all...but none of that happened. And as much as he hated to admit it, he realized how much he wanted her there only when she was leaving.

Heh, typical.

He watched her walk away and check in; he watched her shrinking into the distance as she entered the right corridor to board the plane...

But while she was flying away, Japan being harder and harder to see, and when no one could no longer hear her, she sighed; then whispered melancholically to herself so only she could hear. '

Goodbye... _Lawliet_.'


	2. A bumpy reunion!

**A/N**: Edited chapter; hope you enjoy!

* * *

_Dear Raito, _

_Hello! How are you? You must be pretty surprised to receive a letter from me-bet u had me more for the e-mail kinda girl, ne? ^.^ Anyway, actually I wanted to apologize for not communicating with you these first two months here in America but I am still settling and I barely contacted my parents! _

_Apart from that... Americans have gone mental with all the Kira stuff! They organize meaningless debates over who Kira might be and why he does what he does. I'm telling u: L, you and I had been much closer to the truth than these buffoons here will ever be! (I was invited once to one of these "debates"-given I'm a Japanese student in America and they know Kira is from Japan, too-and because I made all the right questions, they labelled me as a Kira-lover!)_

_But putting aside all the demented behaviours, the country is very beautiful: first thing I did when I came here was to take a tour all over the country: Grand Canyon was amazing and the White House was pretty cool! But enough about America! Tell me about yourself. What happened there while I was gone? By the way, do you like the idea of us being pen-pals? I think it's better to write letters because I get to see your handwriting and it's more personal. _

_Love, Rin._

_P.S. Give my best to everyone (and kiss Matsuda for me)_

* * *

_Dear Rin, _

_Did you just receive and a present along with the letter? Did u like it? I'm sorry if you didn't but you never really told me your favourite colour, so I hope blue works for you. You'll also receive and a bouquet of 21 black roses (since I KNOW you love these) for your 21st birthday. So here it goes: _

_Happy birthday to you. _

_Happy birthday to you. _

_Happy birthday dear Rin! _

_Happy birthday to you._

_Aw, you became 21 years old. It's been 4 years already since you left. I miss you Rin-san, so please stop sending me photos because you only remind me how far away you are from me. By the way, I never understood why you don't wanna talk to me through a web-cam. I also found your idea about the paper for my graduation great, I'll do it. And I'm so glad you like your job so much and you go so well: I know you're born for something great! So write back soon to tell me if you liked my present-and I mean it! Last time it took you almost a whole MONTH to reply! _

_Love, Raito._

_P.S. Will you ever tell me L's real name?_

* * *

_Dear Raito, _

_Hello! How... Oh m God-I hate this formality! Even in informal letters, we go all the time like:"Dear Raito" "Dear Rin" "Dear Raito" "Dear Rin" and so on so on... I just hate it! Anyway! How are you? I bet you're doing fine given all I've heard... I've heard great things about you on the T.V.-well about "L" but we all know who that is, correct? _

_But, there is something that's troubling me about the comments I hear on the T.V. (by the way, it is cable but it is illegal so please don't tell wink, wink ):you see half of the people are praising you and half are "burying" you. Turns out you have more and more similarities with Kira. Could L be right after all...? Relax! I'm merely kidding! _

_But enough beating around the bushes, this I have to say: I'm really sorry for not writing to you these past two months and hat you were the only one who was sending letters and you've been feeling like talking to yourself but have I ever told you what a wonderful person you are? And have I told you that I appreciated immensely that you kept writing even if I didn't? _

_To move on with the conversation you started-more like your statements: No. I don't think that Kira would stop now after all he's gone through. This is his most crucial point and he won't stop unless you stop him. I am pretty sure he actually feels like he's God right now, so please find him and stop him. Aw... That was about it! Write back soon! (I would say the same thing for myself too but you know I won't!) _

_Love, Rin. _

_P.S. This once I do have a reason for not replying!_

* * *

Five years. It's been five years since she'd left and this was the first time she actually considered of going back. Meanwhile she became pen-pals with Raito, while she was also communicating with more of the team, getting updated for anything new about the Kira case -mainly Aizawa was briefing her in-. But after all this time, she decided. She'd go back to Japan. And indeed, in two weeks time, she'd arranged all of her paperwork, her passport, she'd made arrangements with her clients and at 11 a.m. sharp she was at the airport, waiting for the plane.

She decided not to tell anyone but Mogi who would help her in surprise Raito-well, scaring him out of his wits would do, too. She had devised a whole plan to do that actually: the letter that he'd send her, the same moment it would arrive at her doorstep, she had arranged it would go straight back to Japan. Then, when she'd arrive she'd take it and mail it to Mogi with courier service. Then, he'd slip it to Raito when **she**'d call him...meaning when she'd be close enough to see his reaction.

And so it happened. A week after she left America, she arrived at Japan –as she'd preferred to take the long way to make some stops to visit other places: France, Great Britain, India, China- and her great plan was put into motion.

She arrived at Japan at 12 a.m. and at 8 p.m. the letter was delivered to Mogi; when Raito turned to talk to Aizawa he left the letter on top of his keyboard...while Rin was hiding behind the door, waiting patiently to see Raito's reaction. When he returned to his previous spot he saw the letter!

'W-what? Why is this-who brought this here?' Raito asked looking shocked; he was perfectly certain _he_ sent this. In fact, he could see that the address of the person it was supposed to be sent was still Rin's in America. So how did this come here...?

'What-this? Oh! A boy brought it and said it was for you-what is it?' Mogi asked wondered, as if it wasn't him who put it there.

'This is the letter I wrote to Rin-but why is it returned? Did he tell you-?'

She chuckled to herself; this was going much better that she had expected. She enjoyed seeing him worried because of her...

'Wait! You've been communicating with Rin, too?' Matsuda asked surprised; Raito started getting annoyed by all the interferences! Why wouldn't someone tell him what he wanted?

'Well, I was much closer to her than you, so it kinda makes sense.' he snapped a little miffed -after all, he really was much closer to her than him- but decided to continue. 'But this never happened before, why now?' he kept asking as shocked but he was also starting to get angry...

Now it was her turn to act...

'That's mainly because I don't live there anymore and I requested every mail I receive to be returned to its owner and because I wanted you to read it to me.' she said coming out of the shadows; everyone turned surprised to the talker, eyes widening as soon as they laid their sights upon them...but Mogi of course, who was smiling.

'Rin-san!' Masuda exclaimed and rushed to crash her into a hug. 'I can't believe you're actually here-it's been so long since the last time I saw you in person, you've been away for so long!'

With every word he was squeezing her more and more, she felt her lungs running out of air. 'I believe you're happy to have me here but if you keep doing that I'll soon stop breathing.' she joked patting him on the back.

He let her go, shame rising to his cheeks.

'Aw, sorry.' he said bashfully but she replied to him with a smile.

Meanwhile, Raito had come close to both and one couldn't quite understand if he was looking furious or ecstatic.

'Rin-san...' he breathed to her ear, so only she could hear him and moved to hug her...but something in his mind seemed to stop him, namely the memory of a certain blond in the next room who was about to come in as soon as she heard the commotion and it wouldn't do to make Rin Misa's target.

'Aw! Rin-san, this is so great! I can't believe you're really here! It's been so long!' he said and smiled broadly.

'Well, will you read it to me? I'd almost forgotten the sound of your voice these five years!' she said happily and nodded pointing to the letter he was still holding.

He eyed it a little worried... 'Err? Oh, yeah sure, but... Somewhere privately...?' he said gesturing to the people in the room; plus, if they were out of sight he could be as effusive as he liked with her. And he wanted to be very effusive with her!

Mogi, who got the hint, said in a loud voice: 'Well, hum-hum, mina-san, let's get out to leave them to their privacy!' and all started moved out, **dragging** out a complaining Matsuda, but when Raito was about to open the letter, an annoying yet the most familiar voice was heard, cutting through the trotting sounds.

'Aw, guys, why are you all out here? And where is my Raito?'

_**My**__ Raito_...? _Could she mean-and why is she still here_...? _Oh no_...

'Ah, Misa-san; Rin is here and we were just leaving her alone with Raito-'

'WHAT? MY RAITO-KUN!' Misa shouted shocked and busted into the room; she was wearing some weird cosplay clothes like she liked to do.

To the sight of her, Rin raised an eyebrow tentatively, wondering to herself: _Is she for real_ amongst other things...

'What are you doing in here alone with my Raito-kun?' she shouted and her ear-piercing shriek made her shiver.

Well shit, if they were really dating, she could see why she would be so upset. 'Hello to you, too Misa.' said the girl, her lips curled up in distaste.

'Will you **answer** me?'

'Well, there is a letter here she wants me to read it to her.'

'Why?' she was being curt and angry; she was right to be, too.

'Because-it's just a letter, anyway.' Rin replied in his stead.

'Don't you know it is wrong to stay alone in a room with someone else's boyfriend?'

Rin glared at Misa even if she swallowed a little difficult. 'No, it isn't like it's a crime. Besides..._I didn't know you were still here_.' she bit out in the end, thundering Raito with the most accusing look she could muster.

'You didn't? I'm Raito's fiancé!' she said scandalized.

Still processing the information Rin didn't want to appear shocked -because she truly felt thunderstruck at the particular moment, still coping with the news- she calmly turned to Raito-who looked redder than blood and said in a murderously wondered and innocent tone:

'That's odd Raito... In all of your letters you never even mentioned Misa-I thought you'd had split up by now. Why didn't you ever tell me you got engaged? I didn't get the chance to wish you or sent you a present!'

Upon hearing that, Misa became so furious that Rin couldn't understand where her red blouse and where her neck started; but Raito obviously knew how to calm her as when he merely spoke Misa stood at attention, waiting to hear his reply.

'Ha-ha! I must've forgotten about it! Sorry, Rin-san. But it ain't like we are really engaged-we just live in the same house.'

_He __**has**__ to be joking! And he failed to mention __**that**__ in his letters? Why do I really always fall for the bad ones? First violent, then possessive, now this...ugh!_

'But I can't remember you ever asking about her, so I thought you'd taken her for granted.'

That was a reasonable argument she realized, so she blushed profusely; she looked away uncomfortable, crossing her arms. 'I just guessed that you'd tell me if you got in a serious relationship-I s'pose I never realized how serious you two were...'

'Well, my bad I then; I should've told you.'

But just then, Misa seemed to snap out of it: 'WHAT! You used to **write** to her? Why didn't I ever see you? And why was I never mentioned?'

'Well-we just explained. You should pay more attention to people when they're talking because not to is rude.' she snapped her, finally seeing she could come out on top on something.

To that she could swear she saw Raito chuckle...but she was still feeling horrible that she was, even after all this years, hoping somewhere deep inside her that Raito would want to be with her. Raito would want **her**. So she felt horrible she felt proud that he managed to make him have fun with but a little comment; she inwardly cursed herself.

'So how is your case going "L"?'

'I was actually thinking of not telling you anything about the case since, like the real L had said, I like you too much to put you in that kind of a danger. Besides, I thought you and I had a prior engagement.'

'Well, that can wait.' Rin said, shooting a glance towards Misa. 'What can't wait is-'

'Why can it wait?' he saw it but he couldn't care less about Misa, really. 'No, it can't. So why don't we go for a walk at the park, to do the catching up we didn't manage already and read you the letter?'

But Misa did care apparently 'Raito-kun, no way!'

'I don't remember asking you. Besides, it'll be only for a talk. Let's go, Rin-san.'

He offered his hand; she took it gladly. Feeling the ultimate victor, she smiled at Misa triumphantly and as she turned around she made sure to show she was attached on his arm.

. . .

'You shouldn't leave, Rin-san. We all missed you-I know I did.'

They were taking a walk in the park, talking gingerly between themselves.

'I couldn't stay Raito, you know that. At least, not after what happened to L.'

She looked away uncomfortable; this was always a very difficult subject for her and in fact she still hadn't quite gotten over it. But she always tried...

'L...Yes, that is why you left, ne? You left because you couldn't handle his death. You really loved him that much, didn't you?' he asked.

He sounded a bit bitter, but she couldn't say she really minded; maybe if he suffered a little she would come to understand how she truly felt, at least for this small bit.

'What do you think?'

'I think yes. But I loved him, too-he was my best friend!'

How childish could he be, competing with a dead man? 'I never said I loved him more than you did-!'

But he wouldn't let her finish; this was eating him up ever since she had left. Why did she leave anyway? He was there-if she had stayed then maybe things would be quite different by now; maybe if she had stayed the new order of things would have come earlier and maybe, just maybe, she would be in Misa's shoes... 'Strange. I believe you implied so when, I clearly remember it, even though I stayed here _you left to another continent_!'

'I couldn't face the fact that he died just like that; I had to come to terms with it by-!'

But that was a shitty excuse; he felt his blood boil. 'You could have stayed here with me and we would have faced it together; I'd have helped you and you'd have helped me!'

'Then I guess I'm not as strong as you are.'

Tear swam in her eyes for the first time after almost four years and the irony of it all, it was that her tears returned for the same person they had first appeared: L. The real L, the one who died and made her heart break untimely. How she wished she had her heart broken because of Raito instead, how she wished someone had told her she was no longer illegible for her scholarship-but not that. She couldn't handle it, no wonder she had left.

Especially after L told her his real name; he hadn't done it for any other reason than the need -as he'd said- to exist. The need to be remembered from at least one person as Lawliet, the foreign genius boy with the big circles under his eyes from the chronic insomnia, the good friend of another human being...and not to be remembered as L, the famous detective.

But Raito knew nothing of all of these; Raito only knew... 'I think you're in love with him.'

She was thunderstruck. 'Wh-what are you talking about Raito? No! I loved L very much and I admired him but, I saw him like my older brother! And I bet he felt the same way-that's why he wouldn't let me get involved in the case.'

'Yeah right; facts say different: he's fine, you're here. He dies, you leave. It isn't **that** hard to add one plus one you know!'

She fired up; how could he be so nearsighted? But wasn't this actually a good thing? Doesn't this mean he was actually interested in her? She didn't know if she should be happy or furious. 'You are wrong! I only wanted him to be fine because he really was like a brother to me and that's why it hurt so much when he died-I couldn't believe it! Alright? And the way he died was just...unfair! He died because of a stupid shinigami and a greedy man controlling it! And that's why I left: because I couldn't stand this, this...fact, as you called it! _Not that you ever came to me and said:"Don't worry I'll support you", but anyway_...'

He could swear he heard her complain about something. 'What did you just say?'

'Nothing...' she murmured again and kept looking away.

For the next five minutes they continued walking in silence; obviously, Raito realized how serious this was for Rin so he followed another tactic: 'You shouldn't have left though, Rin-san. I mean-look at me! I ended up with Misa! I'm telling you: the more time she spends around me, the more obsessed she gets...'

They both gave a tension-relieving laughter.

'That's merely because she loves you too much and she wants to be confirmed by you, you know, that you love her too and that you'll never leave her for anyone else.'

'That makes her insecure in your shrink language, right?'

'Yes!'

'But I don't understand... Do **you** know any girl that would like to take me away from her?' asked he suggestively giving the girl a very meaningful look.

She blushed, seeing where he was going with this but she wasn't willing to give it up, at least not before Misa was gone once and for all. 'Not really-maybe Takada, but that's all...'

'Takada? Ha ha ha! How d'you ever remember her?'

'We were friends before I even met you and we kept our friendship; I guess she never really got over you. You **do** have that affect on woman as it seems: first the obsessed Misa and then the heart-broken Takada.'

'And the quiet Erin.' he chimed in.

She looked at him long enough so he'd catch her eye: a very playful look was playing on her face, devious and humorous. 'Keep dreaming love.' she snapped and he smirked. 'And given the fact we were communicating very often, there is no need for catching up, so say what you wanted already.' she continued and he looked satisfied.

'I'm glad to see you still have it.'

'Being clever isn't something that goes away like a cold you know.'

'No, but if you hadn't anyone to talk like that to, you get rusty.'

'Who ever told you I hadn't?'

'Well, you said most of them were stupid!'

'I said **most**, not _all_. The guy I was seeing was pretty smart given I was actually dating him!'

.

Upon hearing that, he turned abruptly to the girl and looked kinda angry...? She couldn't tell his state of mind but she knew he wasn't happy.

And of course he wasn't happy; someone dared to date this woman before him? 'You dated someone there?'

He asked it in a very normal voice though his eyes were telling her he could actually kill the guy if he knew him; the thought worried her but pushed it at the back of her mind. After all, all people had one or two faces that could scare the crap out of their friends. That must have been his. Oh well...

'Of course Raito, why shouldn't I?' she replied smug and he understood she saw right through him.

'True, why shouldn't you?'

Silence prevailed once more.

'So?' he asked naturally, avoiding eye-contact with this once.

But this was where she lost him. 'So what?'

'Are you still dating?'

'Ah, no; we split up a while ago.'

That was good to know; but why was it that the distance all this time only made him think more of her? And why was it that the thought of her being with another man got to his nerves so much? But the good thing is they are no longer together, he kept repeating to himself in a final effort to make something good out of t his meeting. 'Really; why so?'

'He wanted things I didn't.'

'Oh? What? Like, you know, sex?'

She wanted to laugh so much, she couldn't help it; she had to say something fast; what was wrong with him anyway? She was sure he and Misa must have had sex already... 'What? Ha-ha! Of course not silly, but like bearing his children and leaving my practice to raise them!'

'You mean you **did** have sex with him?'

He had no idea where this was coming from; this was the 21st freaking century and if they were dating for more than a month he was sure they were bound to have had sex a long time ago...but he couldn't quite compute yet. Wasn't she supposed to be in love with him-or at least have an unrequited love sort of thing for L –he wasn't entirely sure which one it was anymore-? And he was a very modern man if he did say so himself, so he shouldn't really mind she did have sex...but he did, oh so much!

A couple of bystanders turned to the pair of them, others surprised others shocked; she chuckled.

'Raito, you attracted everyone's attention...' she shook his head amused. 'What did you think-we'd kiss and bake cookies until we'd get married? We were dating for 4 years anyway.'

'**What**? Four years-why didn't you tell me?'

She rather enjoyed the attention. 'Well, I did bring it up but you didn't pay attention to it. Remember when I first got to America, my third letter that said I was seeing a fellow... That was him. John.'

He turned sour. 'Oh, John; I never realized you were together for so long.'

'Well, we were.'

'But... I mean-how could you-...'

'Don't be so puritan Raito-haven't you and Misa ever had sex?'

'Misa and I are-well, to be engaged! But don't try to change the subject, alright? You are a girl-girls aren't supposed to do that, while I'm a guy, it's different.' he replied mad and crossed his hands in front of his chest; why was he being like this? He didn't really believe it! And Misa was a girl, too and he knew his argument was weak but he couldn't help it!

'We are in the 21st century Raito, snap out of it! Women. Are equal. To men.'

Silence prevailed again.

'So, um, what about that letter you wanted to read to me?'

She hoped that would relax him a little; he was being a petulant child and she didn't appreciate it how he blamed her for something completely natural. He didn't expect her to pine away her years, did he?

'I don't want to read it you now.'

'Why not?'

'Because. I said I don't want to.'

'Fine. At least give it to me to-!'

'NO.'

'What's wrong with you; just give it to me-'

'I said NO!'

He stopped walking; both stopped walking; she was looking at him like she had just seen a most peculiar sight.

'Raito, you're acting like a child.'

'Then A-NA-LY-ZE it doctor!'

She didn't manage to reply anything; he stalked off mad, leaving the girl all alone in the park, to go home.

'Just perfect!' she said to no one but the wind...

_My God! That was the first time I ever saw Raito go off like that-it is like he is always suppressing this angry side of him-well, one side of him definitely. It's like when we are all alone he feels free to show his true personality. Well, I gotta say: I like THIS Raito better_, she thought while walking home by herself. _By the way...What a great way to be greeted after five whole years Raito-kun..._!

.

.

.

For the next week Rin kept going back to the headquarters in a reconciliation effort, but she was always treated with cold indifference; somehow he was still mad. Even though he wouldn't act angry or he wouldn't outright say it, there was something in his behaviour, the fact that he wouldn't look at her every time he talked to her or even the fact that he wouldn't talk to her unless she'd asked him something were more than enough to make her understand.

And of course he wouldn't show he was upset about something to anyone but she could understand because not only was he colder but Misa had actually been happy! But how couldn't he be upset? Rin was being so shameless about her relationship, even going as far as to brag she could have been married if she wanted to...! Completely disregarding the fact she actually chose to come back to a country she had no certain future for nothing else by the likes of him, he decided to stay angry.

So, after a week of daily trying, she decided finally to stop trying to cheer him up or to strike up a conversation with him since every effort proved futile. Thus, she stopped addressing to him for anything she didn't have to know directly from him; she'd only talk to exchange information.

_**But after two weeks**_...

'Rin-san...'

He spoke...but she didn't turn around.

'Rin-san!'

'Oh? You **were** talking to me after all-I thought I heard wrong since you haven't been talking to me for quite a while.'

She snapped, yet she sounded so normal that only Raito -and maybe Misa but she didn't show it- must have caught that subtle accusation her words hid.

'Well, regarding that, I was thinking. Why don't you take the letter after all to read it yourself because it turns out I have a ton of work to do and I won't be able to?'

_Oh he did not...!_ 'Know what Raito? I'm not so eager to read it after all myself, you may keep it.'

No one said anything and no one did anything but look at the pair of them.

_Awkwardness_, she thought but still looked pretty cool; she tried not to crack under the pressure.

'You don't want to read it anymore? How come?' he asked quite calm.

_C'mon Raito! Give it up already! I know you must be furious by now_, she thought and looked away indifferently. 'Dunno! I guess I lost my interest.'

'Really? But not a week ago you kept mentioning it at the most irrelevant moments with the hope I'd read it or give it to you and now you don't care?' he said in a voice full of "curiosity" which could also be translated as tension.

'Well, exactly! I think I gave that letter a bit too much attention.' she replied still not looking up from the pc screen.

'Um, fine then. When I find where I have put it, I'll merely throw it away. But you didn't tell me how such a sudden discovery? Maybe an old friend called you back? Because I've seen you whispering on your phone many times lately.' he continued pressing; this wasn't going as he had anticipated. She wasn't crying in anguish; she wasn't begging him to take her back! She wasn't even denying it...

'Oh well-that is another matter.'

'Aha! So he **was** calling you again!'

The triumph with which he stated the former, as well as him standing up so abruptly, caused everyone in the room to look at him with a raised eyebrow, even her; she couldn't say she minded his jealousy but she minded his inability to see past it.

_Wow, that actually sounded profound; maybe I could use it in a session_...she thought momentarily distracted.

'Raito... Honestly, sometimes you scare me.' Said she as she finally stood up and headed for the exit. 'But look at the time! I have to be going! Do whatever you want with the letter Raito. Bye mina-san!'

She left; she wouldn't stand being manipulated or led around by the nose anymore. If he wanted to be a prat he was more than welcome! If he didn't do anything about this then she would no longer aspire to be called, even at some point in her life "sweetheart" by that stupid, stupid man...

But as she descended the stairs, she heard footsteps following her down to the lobby; as she turned her head all to discreetly to see who could it be, she saw Raito "running" after her, meaning making himself heard without actually running though. He was slightly out of breath though, which only made her think he was indeed running before he reached her. Heh, he and his stupid ego...

'Rin-san, you forgot this.' he said plainly letting nothing of his mentality show, shoving the letter into her hands.

'Oh, so you found it. Won't you destroy it?'

She pretended to be amiable; deep inside she knew this was both eating him up inside and at the same time it made her very happy to see he wouldn't have it destroyed. She knew he cared for her now and she appreciated it.

'Play with the rest but don't play with me, too Rin-san.' He finally cracked a smile. 'Here, take the letter. And...' he struggled to find the right words. This didn't seem easy to him; she could bet all she owned it wasn't. 'I'm sorry for the way I've been acting lately-I just forgot how it felt inside having you around. Please don't read it alone.' he finally said, pecking her cheek once and went upstairs again.

Maybe he overdid it with this whole john affair; he wasn't even with her after all...

_What I'll never get with this man is __**why**__ he'll never be like that in front of other people? What is he afraid of_? She thought bemused and started walking to her car; now that this was out of the way, maybe everything could return to normal again...

* * *

End of chapter 2! Hope you liked it and I'd welcome all critiques!


	3. The end

A/N: Next and last plot related -edited- chapter! Hope you enjoy dears!

* * *

As the days went by, the two of them started coming pretty close again, just like before L's death; she even felt like he wasn't dead but he was away on vacation on some exotic destination, taking a long leave. The good thing was that the relationship between Raito and her was getting more and more personal by the minute and the bad thing was that he still wouldn't get rid of Misa, so Rin was reluctant of showing him her true feelings. After all, even the first time she ever approached him, he had already broken up with Takada...

It had been three months and they met each other outside of work very frequently and their sole excuse was that he'd read her the letter...but he'd always find an excuse not to: she'd forget it at her house, or he'd forget it in his house -since the letter was changing hands between the two of them all the time- or she'd be too tired or it would be too late or they'd both forget it...

But Misa started getting very worried about the bond that had developed between the two of them, given everyone at the headquarters would gossip about it and spread rumours, so one day she decided to take action!

'Hello mina-san!' Rin said as she came in. 'How are you? Raito are you ready to leave?'

'Just gonna get my coat and I'm coming.' Raito said winking.

'Oh, Matsuda, I love this jacket of yours.' she said, rubbing his shoulders.

'You never compliment mine though!' Raito complained only after he put his coat on and actually offered his hand to the girl.

'That's because you don't have the same taste at clothes with me! Ha-ha! I'm kidding, c'mon. Bye!'

=:=:=

'They seem to be getting pretty well along, ne?' Mogi asked Misa offhandedly; he didn't know if the two of them had anything more than a friendship but it seemed likely and he didn't like the idea. If he wanted Rin he should break up with Misa but if he wanted Misa he shouldn't fool around with Rin. No need to break both girls' heart...

'That's true...' she replied angrily, trying her hardest to hide it...but she was very unsuccessfully. She couldn't help it; and why should she? This woman was trying to make a move on her man! It was about time they settled this...

'And they've been going out alone quite frequently, ne?' Aizawa asked in the same tone that made her even madder; sure this one had no ill intentions towards Raito's misdoings but quite honestly, he was only messing with her. He never believed they were dating. 'I wonder why...'

'It's obvious Mogi! They are best friends and they always were! It's only normal he spends time with her outside of the office!'

'This isn't an office...'

'But they are the headquarters-it's the same thing.'

'Yeah right. I mean-c'mon! We all see how jealous you get-you understand it yourself that there is something more going on between them. I mean, what can they be doing all these hours alone? Besides, you may not know this, but back at the day we all used to say these two would end up together...'

'Come now boys, don't scare her. Besides, my son isn't that kind of man who would date two women at one time.' his father interfered absolute. He would never believe that his son was capable of mischief.

'Well, if I were Misa, I would follow him to find out...' Matsuda said.

But she'd already made up her mind: she'd follow them on their date out! She knew where they'd be going anyway so she had all the time in the world to disguise herself...and they'd never understand it was you!

So she slowly made her exit, trying to make her leaving seem natural; she'd usually stick around to help them but not this once. Now she would finally see for herself if her Raito-kun was cheating on her with that ugly woman...! Well, maybe not ugly, but certainly nearly as amazing as her, a pop idol.

'Um... Gentlemen, forgive my leaving, but since Raito left... I'll be going as well-bye!'

In no time she'd changed her hair and eye colour by wearing a black short haired wig to cover her blond locks and black contacts to cover her blue eyes; she wore clothes and accessories that one would never guess they'd be worn by the certain woman. She looked herself in the mirror proud.

'It's show time!' she said to her reflection -that even she didn't realize-, winking, thinking a self-satisfied "mission accomplished" and then finally leaving.

She knew they'd be going to the restaurant they usually did, so she went there immediately, no need for detours or phone calls...and as she arrived there, she indeed found them sitting together, one opposite the other, chatting and laughing. She had brought special equipment with her just so she could eavesdrop on them.

_Weird... Raito has never been like that with me: he's just... different. Why? Don't I make him have a good time? Don't I amuse him? I'm not as fun as she is? And why he'll never laugh while I'm around?_

After the restaurant, they went to a very isolated cafe where she followed them, too.

_This is unbelievable! He just told her that this is his favourite place to sit! He's never even brought me here though! Come and think of it, he never does! Only when he needs a date for the police-stuff! Why doesn't he ever bring __**me **__here..._?

Thoughts such as these were constantly plaguing her mind; she felt disappointed. She felt she was the one doing something wrong, like it was her entire fault that he had a bad time when he was with her. She felt guilty...why didn't he have fun with her? Why couldn't he?

'Rin-san, why won't you ever have desert? Come on, eat it! And if you do, I promise we'll do something we've never done before.'

'You mean you are actually gonna read me the letter?'

'Ha-ha, funny. But no...You'll see.'

'Hum. You just intrigued me Tsuki Yagami. Fine; I'll eat it.'

_He's gonna-__**what**__? Oh no! Oh no! I have to find out what it is! But they mustn't understand that someone's following them,_ she thought panicked.

And she did as she promised herself: she wouldn't leave them alone, she wouldn't let her have her way and take Raito away from Misa; Misa was the one who deserved him, she knew him better than everyone-she was the one who was the second Kira...!

It was 12 p.m. when they decided to leave but this once, they didn't go there by taxi; they walked wherever he was supposed to be leading her-and truth of the fact was, they walked for quite a while, what was up with that? She was wearing heels -just as her persona required- and they were very painful to wear all these ours especially without really sitting anywhere.

_I've never been here before_...the girl realized when she arrived where Raito brought them.

'What is this Raito?' Rin asked just as wondered as you, looking around. It was pitch black since now it was 1:30 and it was foggy: the only thing that could be seen was the light from the lighthouse behind them.

'This is my own personal hide out. This is the place I go since L died, to think. I come here very often but I never showed this place to anyone. You're the first one.'

'Rea-really?' she gave him a double take. 'Nah, no way, you're kidding.'

_No he's not! He has never mentioned this place-__**or **__ever told me to escort him when he left the house! So this is where he came... But why he showed it to her and not to __**me**__? I'm supposed to be his girlfriend_!

'I never kid.' he said solemnly and she smiled.

'Well, in that case, thank you for sharing this with me, Tsuki Yagami.' she said and kissed him on the cheek.

_BIIIIITCH!_

She bent over the ledge and Raito went close to her; she enjoyed a draft of the cool wind and smiled.

_Hum! The bitch-I can't believe he's actually so nice to her. Can he really like her? Oh, have to spy a bit more_-

But her thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of her private phone-she felt it vibrating on her hip as she was actually smart enough to already have switched it to silent before she decides to leave her house.

_Oh no! I must answer this call and if I stay here they'll be hearing me talking. I have to go! _she thought exasperated and started walking away trying not to make a sound...

And sadly, this call wasn't just one she couldn't ignore, but also one she would have to go after it was over...now she'd never have a chance at this again. She hated it, but she really couldn't do anything else...

=:=:=:=

Rin went to the ledge and supported herself on the bars of the railing; after watching the ocean for a while she turned to Raito finally, looking somewhat refreshed. The sea breeze did her a lot of good at putting her thoughts in order.

'Now I understand why this is your hideout...it's very peaceful and beautiful! But you shouldn't have brought me here, because now I'll know where to find you-you'll have to find a new hideout.'

'But that's why I wanted you to know it: so you can find me at all times.' he said coming dangerously close; she could feel his breathing on her neck.

She felt her skin crawl.

She just smiled awkwardly, not knowing how to react; she didn't want to ruin this moment because she felt connected to him: he actually shared something of such importance with her and that made her feel very special. But at the same time, this was nearly as proper as it should be-he did have Misa waiting for him...

'So, um, how long since you last came here?'

'Two days, when I dropped you off the last time we went out.' he replied coming even closer, trapping her between the bars.

'Oh... And what did you want to think then?'

She looked away, feeling uncomfortable as much as she was feeling comfortable; that made her guilty. Inwardly she cursed herself for all of her inhibitions concerning taken men, but she couldn't help it her parents giving her principals!

He wanted her so much...even if she would never give herself to him because of Misa. It was reasonable yet at the same time pesky. There was only one question that came to mind every time he looked at her though: 'Why do you do this to me?' as if it was her own fault for making him feel all the things he did: lust, longing, affection...

Surprised, fluttered and blushing, she looked the other way.

'Pardon me?'

'I came here to think why you do this to me?' he said, placing both of his hands around her, circling her waist easily. He actually trapped her there, rendering her unable to move away.

'And what do I exactly do to you...?' she asked him with great difficulty-now the chills running down her whole body; oh no, oh no, oh no. she shouldn't be asking him things like that! She should just shove him away and leave him alone!

'You make me feel so weak...' he went closer to her but then removed himself 'and vulnerable...' he repeated the same routine 'feelings I never had for anyone else and feelings I had buried deep inside me when you left.'

As flattered as she might have been by that she still felt bitter; if that was true then how come Misa was still the one sharing his bed every night? She really had to know. 'What about Misa?'

'She can't even make me feel happy-how much more something like that.' he replied deviously, a smirk translated into his words. He was but a mere two inches away...

'Then why are you with her?' she barely said; her voice was caught in her throat and her skin still crawled.

And he wasn't going to make it any easier for her; he wanted her and he wanted her to want him. 'Do you really want to talk about Misa right now?' he asked kinda smug and leaned in...

His lips forced themselves upon hers and she was carried away in a deep and passionate kiss; he let go of the bars as slowly, yet steadily, his hands made their way up to her body and her sides and then down again; she just started responding wrapping her hands around his neck, like she tried to secure him. She wanted to break free, she knew what she was doing was wrong: he was Misa's boyfriend and now she was officially being the "third person" in their relationship… but she could no longer help it. Something about the way he treated Misa like she meant nothing to him, something the fact he was being so different around her made her surrender to what it seemed an "illegal" kiss.

...but a kiss she had been waiting for a long, long time.

As his hands were keeping her close to him, travelling as they pleased, his tongue was seeking for entrance; as it was easily granted, both felt the same inexplicable sensation of satisfaction running down their spine. They both felt this was what was right for them; each other's embrace was the place for them to be.

When they broke the kiss, out of breath and panting, seeking for much-needed air they still remained in each other's' arms; holding on to another tightly, they felt not just their breaths, but their souls beating in the same rhythm.

'I love you, Erin Hitero.'

'I love you, too, Tsuki Yagami.'

.

.

A month passed; meanwhile, many things happened, or in this case didn't happen. Even though she had felt literally blissful when he finally took that step and kissed her, she couldn't help but feel tainted or immoral because no matter how much she truly and deeply loved him, he was still dating Misa.

Thus for the past whole month she tried not to talk or look at him and never accept any of his proposals to go out together to "read the letter". Of course she kept going to the headquarters in an effort not to draw suspicion to herself but she was careful enough not to let the tension between them show. And there was a lot of it.

He was feeling...betrayed. Why didn't she do anything else? Why didn't she let him pursue this "relationship" since she wanted it as much as he did? She couldn't be teasing him because she didn't lie when she had said she loves him-he was a first rate liar and he knew she was being honest. So why as she being so damn stubborn...?

Thus, after a month from that day, around 1 a.m. her doorbell rang.

_You have to be joking_, she thought while swearing her luck. Lazily and still half-sleeping she checked the door; as she looked through the peephole she saw a very familiar mane of brown hair waiting behind the door rather impatiently.

What was Raito doing there?

She opened the door surprised...after she fixed her hair a little first.

'Raito? What in eaeaearth...' she yawned 'are you doing here? Been seeing me in your dreams or something?' she said with eyes half-open.

But he was angry. 'Hum! No, I didn't see you in my dreams; I didn't sleep at all-how could I anyway?'

She decided to play coy; this would be the very definition of getting out of a tight spot. 'Lemme see: you work 17 hours the day every single day and you never stop thinking of the Kira-case. That tends to tire people.'

'Sure, I'm physically tired but you see when you lie on your bed in the silence of the night you get to think. And so do I. And for the past month I've been thinking the same thing: "Why is Rin avoiding me?".'

She immediately looked away, not quite guilty and not quite comfortable.

'So you wanna talk... Fine; I'll get dressed and we'll go at the park to talk, OK?'

'Alright.'

As she left to change he started looking around.

'By the way, even though I always thought it was a bit spooky you stayed here at the same hotel with L, now I realize it is actually skin-crawling; I feel he'll walk in from that door in any moment.'

'So do I, partly that's why I chose it.' she finally said as she came out and gestured to the door.

'Memories are hard to kill, ne? Especially if they concern a lost loved one.' he said while descending the stairs.

'Yeah...' she answered but started going faster; just the thought of that made her eyes sting...somehow Raito could be a regular pain, this man and just now it dawned to her how much of a pain he could be. The bastard.

While the pair of them was at the park he was still talking about L, to her surprise but instead of being a prick, he was actually reminiscing of the old times. So she continued with that conversation while they both got to remember old jokes and moments when he was still alive.

But suddenly, he stopped.

'Are you avoiding me because of L? Do you feel that if you start something with me, that I was his best friend, you'll betray his memory?' he asked seriously.

'What is that supposed to mean? Still ranting on about me being in love with L? Please! You really think **that**'s what keeps me away from you? Yeah right!'

'Then what else could it be?'

'That, um dunno-you are dating **Misa**? Nah, there's no way that could be it-it's too obvious! I mean-it would only make me feel a cheap, used trump...'

'But why? I told you I don't love her, it's only reasonable for me to wanna be with someone I really love.'

'Ha! What I see is that Misa is your girlfriend for the past five years and I'm just a fling. You want a little bit adventure in your life so you started having an affair; if you really loved me you'd leave her. But you haven't...have you?'

'That is not true and I thought you knew that already. I love you, I really do.'

'Then why are you still with her?'

'Because...I can't break up with her! At least not before the Kira-case is over!'

'But why?'

'Because you wouldn't understand!'

'No, because you wanna date me but you also wanna have a back-up plan in case I leave again, right? Because you can't trust anyone-because you never learnt to give your heart to anyone!'

'Oh don't you try to pin this on me-you are the one who stays in the hotel room where a dead guy used to leave so you can feel "his presence around you"! Because you want to "always remember him"! Because you want to "hold on to his memory"! Because now, even after all these years, you still. Can't get over the fact: HE'S DEAD!' Raito screamed in her face.

...

**SLAP!**

Feeling her blood boiling, the moment he dared utter those words, she slapped him right in the face without a second thought.

'How dare you talk about him like that? Leave. Now.' He seemed shocked so and he didn't make a move, still cupping the cheek she hit. 'I said. Leave NOW!' she shouted, too.

Her hands balled into fists while her teeth seemed clenched; she was mad. She was too mad. And there he was thinking he might get her to change her mind...

But, taking his superior and offended look, he marched off, leaving her alone in the process.

_Baka_! she thought grimly to herself not knowing the insult was directed at herself or him; it was hard to breath-almost crying as sat on a swing to calm herself.

But after about fifteen minutes, she heard a strange laugh...coming from behind her.

_Stupid girl! I bet now she's crawling back to the hotel room with "L's memory" still pretty much alive in her head, to go and cry over of what used to be his bed... I'll never understand why doesn't she just accept that she was and IS in love with him? 'I love him like a brother' but every time I'll mention him her face becomes ten times brighter than it was. Not to mention that due to his death she went to America! Humph! Leave her? Of course I'll leave her and I'll leave her for good! _

_...But wait, isn't it a bit late for her to be wandering around alone? I mean-there is this killer that no one ever managed to see his face that has been terrorizing the streets lately, called Ken Koudoh...No, there is no way he'll find _her_ out of the whole-... But it _is_ pretty late and for the first time in my life I have this gut-feeling... Oh what the hell, I'm going back there_! he thought worried and ran back.

It was indeed very late: 3 a.m. When Raito got to the park, he saw her standing there looking defensive and scared while a guy was holding a knife threateningly to her; he moved to attack her.

_Oh fuck_- 'Hey! Leave her alone!'

That seemed to draw his attention because he immediately turned to Raito and attacked him with the knife instead: he managed to stab him on his arm hand and then he punched him twice.

'Ugh!' he did surprised but Raito decided to fight back, especially after hearing Rin's cries of worry and encouragement: he kicked him and punched him back twice -for good measure-, but the damn bastard recovered it too soon and hit him again.

But when he attempted to kick him again...nothing happened. As Raito looked up, opening his eyes slowly one by one, he came across a sight he did not expect.

'Ugh! Ow-wh-hey girl what are you-...Ow! Fine, I'm going you bitch!' the assaulter snapped through granted teeth...and Raito couldn't believe his eyes: she, Rin, a girl shorter than him beat the criminal up for good and he ran away scared.

'Raito, sweetie, are you alright?' she asked worried, hurrying over to him.

'Yes, I am.' he replied snappy; he was angry and very embarrassed. A girl half his size beat up the guy he tried to save her from. That had had to be the definition of "losing face".

'But you are bleeding! Look at your hand-come on, let's go upstairs to dress it-thank God it's superficial.' she said caringly and, apparently not taking "no" for an answer, both went upstairs slowly.

'Why in earth did you come back anyway?' she asked while tending to his "wound" after a very big and quite comfortable for the hurt man period of silence. That silence gave him time to think and appear more dignified; but at least he tried right? Others would let her take him on all by himself...

'I just had a strange feeling something bad would happen to you...' he murmured, reluctant to admit he did something nice for her.

'Well, you were right. I don't usually enjoy seeing my friends getting beaten up.' she said trying to amuse him...but it didn't work.

It didn't work at all. He felt even more horrible and useless. 'Your words hurt more than his punches.'

She bit her tongue 'I'm sorry-I was only joking!'

Silence...

'How did you learn to fight like that anyway?' he finally asked; it was going around in his head from the moment he saw her fighting like Bruce fucking Lee.

'Hum? Oh, that? He-he, you see, when I was at America John had said I had to learn how to protect myself and when I saw he was right, I took classes.'

'Oh, John...'

_Would it be wrong if I wrote his name in the Death Note after she gives me a photo of him_? The thought suddenly seemed very appealing to him...

She looked at the man with the edge of her eyes, not saying anything, but somewhat smiling, still taking care of his last "wounds".

'There you go, my hero.' she said sweetly and put a plaster over his nose.

He felt his cheeks burn slightly.

'Thank you for this.'

'Aw, no problem. But maybe you should be going. It is very late.'

'Yeah, Misa will worry if she doesn't find me there.' he said casually but deep inside you gave a sadistic smile to no one in particular. _Let's see if you like it when I bring her accidentally up_? he thought maliciously.

She pulled a rather weird face. 'Of course, that, too. We wouldn't want to worry her now would we?'

'Well, it ain't like she won't have already seen I'm missing anyway-we sleep in the same bed.'

'Do you, now?'

'Well, we always did so-'

'I don't wanna know!' she said in fake terror and left for the kitchen; when she returned she was holding something. 'Here-take this with you: it's for good luck.' she said giving him a rabbit's foot.

'Thanks.' he said laughingly...but laughing made his face hurt. 'Aw.' he breathed shortly, touching his nose.

'Aw...Does it hurt? Let me kiss it to go away.' she said kindly and leaned in; on his cheek there was a big bruise that had started developing. But as she did, he noticed her exposed tasty neck…

_She smells so familiar..._he thought and unconsciously, started sniffing and planting little light kisses on her neck.

'Raito...'she said while feeling his lips making the way down her neck; but he didn't stop. 'Raito, please, don't-'

But he didn't seem to care about what she was saying, as now, more aggressively than before, he was kissing her everywhere exposed, trying to lie her down; she felt a chill. 'Raito, no; this is wrong.' she said putting her hands between them in a futile effort to separate themselves...but he took hold of both hands. 'Misa is-'

'-sleeping in her bed, far away from here.'

'And she's also your girlfriend-!' she pointed out, finally freeing the hands that tried to make him stop; truthfully, she was actually enjoying all of it-the attention, the fondling even the situation and the knowledge of him choosing her over Misa.

'Compulsory.'

'_You_ chose so-'

'Will you stop talking about Misa? I don't wanna hear about her.'

'But-'

'But nothing; if it makes you feel any better I promise you that the moment the Kira-case is over, so is Misa, how about it?' he said now fully on top, kissing her lips.

'Yes, but-'

'But you really are hard to persuade, d'you know that?' he joked while he slowly started unbuttoning her jeans.

'Yes; and stop that!' she snubbed, grabbing his hands...but he only stopped for a moment. 'And-'

'And I love you and nothing will ever come between us. And no one will know, don't worry. Not until I break up with her.'

She felt like he was reading her mind; how did he know what to say every time he opened that pretty mouth of his? He kept kissing and kissing, making sure she had no other choice but to kiss him back. Well, maybe even if she did have one she wouldn't be using it but the point was how could he always say the perfect thing?

'When or **if**?' asked she bitterly in the end, looking away...

He grabbed her chin and made her face him. But he didn't answer; he merely reached under her blouse, and his hand travelled under her bra; she breathed in shocked, both out of shame yet delighted. She was kissing deeply back by then-their tongues dancing together fiercely, while he was being even more imposing than before, their bodies in absolute contact…

And that was the last of her defences; even under the layer of clothes, she could feel his body heat burning higher and making her hotter, too. In a feeling of great confusion, yet desire, she let herself free in his arms not exactly knowing if what she did was real or not: it seemed either a dream or a nightmare. Whatever it was, she decided to enjoy it...

.

.

The morning finally caught up with them; it was around 6 a.m. when she finally looked at her watch and she saw the time for the first time: they were just lying there on the floor, the blanket covering their shoulders, their noses almost touching.

'Is this real?' he whispered in her ear in a soft whisper, too caught up in the moment to think how to behave.

'Why shouldn't it be? We know everything there is to know about each other, ne?' you asked and smiled at him.

'Ne...' he replied like snapping back to reality, not quite looking at her.

.

.

After a couple of months they were already dating, like a real couple, only it was hard for both to act like lovers in the middle of the street; though they did get out, they were always casual so no one would understand anything.

Surely they'd see each other on daily bases, as she kept coming to the headquarters, and the pair of them was going out pretty frequently-that frequently that even though the rest stopped pocking fun out of it, Misa was getting more and more suspicious.

Yet, this period was like a dream come true for Rin; she really loved Raito and she couldn't quite believe this was really happening.

But he, every time that she'd start talking serious, he seemed somewhat troubled, sad and distant and every time she'd go to her place he wanted to get out of there, constantly complaining that he felt like L was in the room with them and he was looking down at them. Of course he kept asking his name, too but she kept not telling him since L himself told her that no one should know it but her and he wanted to keep that secret.

So, one day, they'd arranged to go out and Rin went to pick him up from the headquarters.

'Guys, what's wrong with you? You keep going out like that not talking anyone else with you... What should we think...?' Mogi joked while Raito was getting ready.

'Of course the only thing that is logically deductible: we're having a secret affair behind everyone's backs.' he said so normally, invading the conversation, that they all started laughing.

She kind of got angry, but let it be. Anything that provided them a better cover for their little affair would do.

'So you do admit it!' Misa said shocked-the guys laughed harder.

'Yeah, and he would tell us all so we know he's having a SECRET affair.' Matsuda mocked...but she got angry.

'Humph!' she did in contempt as they left.

Rin was always amazed by how intuitional Misa could get; then again, a woman usually knew when her husband or her boyfriend was cheating on her. Apparently, so did Misa. 'She's suspecting something...'

'She's Misa: she always suspects something!' he said and shrugged.

One more week passed and she decided not to meet with him at all: even though these two months seemed like something out of someone else's life, she couldn't stop thinking about the fact he was cheating on his girlfriend-that he was supposed to be engaged with, and she couldn't help but feel really bad about herself; now she decided to end it.

She slowly picked up the phone and called him; she arranged to go by his house to tell him. But another thing that has been annoying her for the past month it turned out quite serious after all and she also needed to discuss it with Raito, to make sure things would work out well for all parties involved and to sort out any implications that may arise in the future...

'Ah, Rin-san, come in. You know, we have the whole house for the whole night to ourselves.' he said happily; but what he didn't know, was the reason of her going there.

She smiled weakly and sat down on the couch beside him.

'Would you like something to drink?'

'A glass of water would be more than welcome.'

'Water? Ha! You have been emptying whole bottles of sake two weeks ago, and now this...? You definitely are unpredictable!'

He brought her what she asked for, adding a couple of snacks to it; she smiled fleetingly as she received the. 'Thank you...Raito, I want to talk to you.'

'OK, talk to me. What is it?'

'To start with, I have to tell you, I have two things to say. So this is the first one: ... Raito, I don't know how else to say this but... I think we should stop dating.' she said dryly.

He widened his eyes in plain shock.

'W-what? Why?' he demanded; he felt suddenly empty.

'Because I don't wanna feel like I'm a trump anymore. I may not be quite fond of Misa but that's no reason for me to stab her in the back. I don't know what's keeping you with her and since you don't want to share it with me, then I think I cannot do this anymore, I'm sorry.'

'But, Rin, I love you-you can't do this to me! And it isn't like you don't love me too-

'I know but-'

-or is it?'

'Huh?'

'Is this really because of that, or you have finally come to realize you really ARE in love-'

'Would you stop that?' snapped the girl worn off. 'Stop blaming L for your mistakes, alright? This is because of you-not him! Why can't you understand that this has to do with YOU? You are the one that's dating Misa, you're the one who want stop and you are the one who's not telling me why! So why don't you stop acting like a child and denying your responsibilities and start acting like the adult you are when you're around other people?'

'What is that supposed to mean?'

'What? What? You MUST be joking! Every time you are around the guys or Misa or your father, you act like a 60-year-old wise man and every time you're with me suddenly you find all of your lost childhood! What. IS. Wrong with you? What are you-hiding from me-why can't you tell me why you can't leave Misa till you solve the Kira case? Was L right about her having something to do with him? And WHY do you feel so God-damn-unreasonably jealous of him? Do you know how tiring is for me to try to guess every day?'

'You-you know I'm hiding something from you...?'

'It wouldn't be more obvious unless you screamed it! I'm a bloody-psychologist Raito, I've learnt to read people! And you do have tells! YOU can't read ME not the other way around!'

He looked away.

'I can't tell you what I'm hiding but if you wanna know **why** I'm jealous of L then that's because you always had a better relationship with him than me! You'd always be together, laugh together and you'd always leave me out! I felt and I still feel even though he's dead, like I'm not a part of your everyday life! I know they say that the routine kills the love but for me-I WANT to be your routine! And I can't help but feel awful myself for L's death, and I can't stand the fact he told you his real name coz that actually means he might was in love with you! So if he had responded you might had ended up together! And then... Ugh! And then there's Misa whom I don't want! Honestly! And this is so ironic because I must be with her but I don't want her, but I mustn't be with you but I want to! I LOVE. You, and-'

He was shouting at her and she kept shouting at him:

'Why you "must" be with her, and why "mustn't" you be with me? Who's putting the restrictions here Raito-only your mind-'

'No I assure you that-' he cut you off, but you didn't let him finish yourself, screaming her lungs out.

'No Raito, **just** your mind! For some reason you think I'm not good enough for you and you torture both yourself and me for nothing-'

'You won't understand-' he said kinda aggressively.

'I do understand; that's your problem with me! I'm not as easy to manipulate as Misa-you said so yourself!'

'Please, try-'

'I'm done trying Raito, I'm' done trying! I was trying to pull myself together, then I was trying to hold myself back, now I'm trying to keep myself and this relationship in one piece and I can't try anymore! So would you please tell me what it is that you're hiding from me or do I really have to walk away feeling like I was never really a part of your life-' you kept shouting mad and desperate when he shouted louder to cover your voice:

'I AM KIRA!'

.

.

Deep silence prevailed with her looking blankly at nothing, not being able to say a word...and Raito as just staring at her.

Her heart broke with nothing more but three little words; she'd never expected to hear the certain words put together by the certain person but she did…and now she couldn't take it. Maybe if he were honest, maybe if he hadn't killed L…But he had killed him. And he did lie…

'I'm sorry I haven't told you earlier but this is what I've been hiding from you. Do you understand now why I can't leave Misa? If I leave her, she will definitely kill you, and because I cannot allow that then-then I'd have to kill her first and then everyone would understand I am Kira, so I can't split up with her until the Kira-case is over and the new world comes to life.'

Meanwhile, she was muttering: 'Y-you are Kira... But you can't be-all this time-this does explain why you, and Misa, and all... You were lying to me for all these years-my God, you killed all those people, all those people, you are a killer, and all this years you were untraceable and you were pretending to be an honest man-oh my God L was right all along but no one believed him-he died because no one believed him-... You killed L!'

'Do you understand now?'

'Yes...'

'Thank God!' he said relieved and went to hug her-she abhorred him.

'I'm leaving.' Stated Rin, finally putting herself together as she stood up.

'What-?'

'I'm leaving.'

'Why?'

'Because... you are Kira.'

'I thought you'd understand... Besides, it's still me, the same-'

'No you're not. I never knew you-I only got to know "Raito", the son of the chief of the police, or "Tsuki Yagami" the pride and joy of the Japan police. But YOU are Kira. And I met "Kira" through his actions, and I didn't appreciate him at all. But at least he never lied to me-you did. I'm sorry, but I'm done.'

'You wouldn't walk out on me-...'

He looked shocked and furious, because he realized she was actually walking to the door, following through with her threat.

'You can't leave-I won't let you!'

Why was it that she couldn't accept him for who he was...? why did she hate Kira so much if she loved him so much, too...?

But she merely scoffed. 'And what are you gonna do about it, Raito? Write it in your "life-journal"? Here then' she said throwing the death note -which she conveniently found in the first drawer she opened- 'go ahead and write my name down. _After all these, I deserve it anyway_...' she said defiant as ever and left.

But truly, dying was the last thing she wanted for herself, not just because of her but also…well, never mind that. She hoped she wouldn't have to worry about it.

'What in earth? Has she just left me? N-no way-but I-she-no, she won't be anymore! She'll die, today! Since I can't have her, no one will.'

He wrote her name down: Erin Hitero, 12:09 p.m., dying after returning to the headquarters of the Kira-case.

And so it happened; she came back and stood in front of him, slowly collapsing. She pierced him with the most scornful look she possessed, yet, she couldn't leave; he felt deep shame rising inside of him and the look in her eyes alone made him regret ever thinking of such a thing. How could he anyway? He really loved this woman, who was now dying in front of him in his very arms; how could he actually do this? No wonder they used to say to never do things right after you've broken up, you do crazy things you can never take back.

These were the worst and longest forty seconds of his entire life. He took her in her arms, while actually shivering and muttering repeatedly 'Gomen-nasai, gomen-nasai...'

Then he heard her weakly saying with a fainted smile on her lips, looking like she had lost paradise:

'Th-that 2nd thing-... I w-wanted t-to say is-... I'm pregnant.'

* * *

**A/N**: I guess that it'd be only fair to Misa to do this since she's the most misunderstood character in the anime-maybe after Matsuda. But I don't really like her much!

Also excuse some clichés, but I love -some of- them so much! E he-he...  
And yes, after the tragic death of my OC that is all I have to say. :3 Feedback is valuable, too so please review and/or message!


	4. The letter

**A/N**: Has anyone wondered what the letter wrote? Well, I hope you did ^^ So this is the letter (accompanied by Raito's reaction to her death) and review if you like!

* * *

.

.

To the sound of those words Raito froze to the spot while feeling her head fall in his arms cold and lifeless.

'A-a-... Child...? No, no, no, NO! No...' he barely said.

After clutching her-now-dead body to his chest for several minutes, still trying to capture some of that warmth and her scent, he started crying; he couldn't hold his anger or his anguish back any longer: he started screaming and cursing himself.

When he finally let go off her body, he ran to the closet, getting out all of Misa's clothes and tearing them apart one by one, emptying shelves and drawers and tearing papers.

'No, no-NO! This can't be true, she was lying-YOU ARE LYING! YOU ARE JUST DOING THIS TO SCARE ME! DO YOU HEAR ME? This is YOUR FAULT-D'YOU HEAR ME? If it wasn't for your stubbornness I wouldn't have to kill you! And kill my own ch-ch-ch-child... No...' he kept screaming and crying to her and himself, when his eye finally caught the letter.

Yes, that letter that was the very excuse they ever came together, that final letter she never got to read, although she had so many chances. He took it in his hands and he tried to tear it in little pieces...but he couldn't. So he just decided to set it on fire. But the moment the letter started burning, he regretted it and put the fire out and read it instead.

* * *

_Dear Rin,_

_I know you always have a good reason for not replying to me, don't worry. But why do I get this feeling like this will be the last letter I'll be sending you? Are you about to do something? Please don't let it be anything stupid and I see you on the eight o'clock news!_

_Anyway, given this is the "last letter", I wanna talk to you about something you artistically have been avoiding of mentioning since it happened and quite frankly I think it isn't healthy. So here it goes: I know that you loved L very much, but don't you think it is about time you faced the fact he is dead? You are supposed to be the psychologist so give it a little thought, ne? I understand it must be huge for you to deal with, but shouldn't you start sometime? So tell me how you feel about it. And because I KNOW you are the kind of person who in order to give you also have to take then I'll tell you how I feel. So, I have to say that life without him seems kind of boring and monotonous, given he made everything, even and the smallest, interesting. I really feel that without him this case is harder to solve than mist! But I can't help but feel responsible for L's death because I kept thinking that if I had been more cautious then the shinigami would've never escaped us... It is sad to face this new world without his thorough and "eccentric" look and what's more frightening people start believing Kira is some sort of saviour-or worse: a God. We really need him and I feel like I want him around again: I will never forget the day he passed away, it was horrible yet life changing and scarring. You were crying on the floor, everyone looking and running around scared, and him dead in your hands... I'm so sorry for reminding you all of this but I just needed someone to tell that I really feel guilty for his death and that it COULD be avoided. I guess I didn't think about it as much as I had to._

_But enough about me. Why don't you tell me how YOU feel about it? And though I know you can just write that all these feelings you have inside you cannot be described, at least try. And did you notice I didn't keep the formality? (I know I suck at jokes, gome!)_

_I love you,_

_Raito._


End file.
